Actually, my theses was never taken from my passion. For the first time I wrote my theses about FKUB (Forum Kerukunan Umat Beragama), I never felt that the good idea as long as I am writing it. I was dissaponted that I can’t write my masterpice theses from my passion. At that time, my feeling told me that I can’t reach what I keen on.
For the first time, I challenge my self to write about artist reasearch. I am interesting in art, that’s why I choose it. In my opinion, artist is someone who have been huge different from others. They can see the rain from different view, when others see rain was fallen by science evidence, they could see that rain is hurt, love, missed, etc. So I think, God was creating them as flower which can breath and human that beyond the reality. That’s why I love music, theater, poems, painting, etc.
That’s not mean that I had done my reasearch with regret so I didn’t doing my best. That’s no no. I was doing my best for my research, althought that’s not make me satisfied, but I love the process when I was doing that Theses.
For now, I am doing research again for final task at post graduate. I choose about Chinese community’s religion, Tridharma. I think, not anybody knows about that religion. Someone must be knowing Tridharma is kind of university. But, Tridharma is a religion which exist in Indonesian Chinese community. As long as doing this research I found that Tridharma is one of budhism. I debated with my teacher that Tridharma is not religion but community, and now, I know the truth. The Vihara’s people told me that Tridharma is kind of balance among heart, head, and lips. Heart which something that always says the truth, head is always give information to our self by thought, and lips which always says something from heart or head. These difficult thing that human have to do. Am I right?
They are politheism believers. For me, that’s not problem, they are opened person to outsider who comes to Vihara by using veil like me. For the first time I feel bumbling but their friendly smile gives me secure and amazing confidence.
I was searcing of internet, there is interesting opinion from Tridharma’s writter. He said “when we are seing the old woman who pray to Gods that must be peoples says that the old woman is believing in superstition, worshiping to devil, no education, etc. But if we are seing from others side, we have to know that the old woman doing that because her heart guids her to be believing and hoping to the Gods. The old woman is looking for safety, serenity from Chinese Gods. I don’t have own right to judge that the old woman is worshiping of devil, idol, superstitionism, fool, or others negative views. We have to realize that the human life is looking for hopes, safeties, and serenities. Every human does their own way.”
I agree with that view, we are human always believing something greater that anything. That’s proven by afraid and hopeless feeling so we doing something like asking to something that greater than anything.
That’s why I feel this theses is good for me and others to becomes part of my pasion. I am curious about Chinese history, that’s why I have to do my best to this research. Hope you pray for me guys.
Indonesian Chinese have to survive in Indonesia, they had been facing many problems in this country especially the government. They have to face the trouble when China was played down by many countries. So they were facing difficulty to life peacefully, their livelihood and believes face difficulty in that order.